12/31/2015

It must be soo hard to be vegan!

Hey guys!
After a kinda long pause I wanted to go on dicussing arguments mentioned against veganism. When I tell people, that I'm vegan, a lot of people, even those, who aren't against veganism but are interested in my way of nutrition, tend to say: "It must be soo hard to be vegan!" or "This would be too hard for me" or  "Isn't it exetremely difficult to be vegan?". I don't think, it's "difficult" or "comlicated" to be vegan, because there is just one, easy rule: Don't eat food, thata comes from animals.
I think, the reason, why people regard veganism as expensive and difficult is, because they associate it with vegan replacement products. I mean, there are actually this kind of vegan meat and vegan cheese stuff, but they aren't necessary, they aren't the base for a vegan nutrition.
I think, the other misunderstaning, people tend to have about veganism is, that vegans would just skip animal products and eat less food, what isn't the truth as well. Veganism is about  replacing animal products with plant products. As vegetables are tendentially cheaper than meat or milk prouducts, this is a way of replacing expensive products with cheap products, what doen't support the argument, that veganism is "too expensive" for some people, as well. By buying more plant- based food, one will save money.
Difficulties occur, when it comes to the actual replacing of animal products in a recipe, what may be confusing at the first glimpse, because they are a lot of diffrent products to replace for example an egg, acoording to it's benefit in the recipe. I, personally, wouln't suggest buying loads of vegan recipes and cook books but instead, make "normal" recepies and replace the animal stuff. In the internet, there are really lots of lists and tables, that can help to find the right replacement for a product (for example, here, here or here).
I think, as a lot of vegans are regarded as eco- activists, people think, that they'd only buy fair- trade, local- produced, organic food from the next farm. That's not true. Although there are people doing this, it'S perfectly okay and easy to buy at any normal supermarket. (There are actually this "veganazi police people" as I call them, but I'll talk about that phenomenen in another post).
What can be actually a little difficult, is dining out. Although there are nowdays a lot of vegan or vegetarian restaurants, one isn't ever willing to drive one hour just to get to a restaurant, that does only provide plant- based food. What I started doing is just requiring a normal plate, but asking for leaving out or replacing certain ingredients (e.g. pizza without cheese, salad without yohgurt). This isn't the perfect way yet, as it can be regarded as impolite and unappropriate sometimes, but for me it's working out.
The biggest actual difficulty for vegans (in my opinion) is to tell people, that one is vegan and to be honest about that. I had some "vegan outings" already, but whenever I eat with somebody, I have to say it again. I used to avoid conversations about my nutrition, but I want to be more open and less anxious about it, as a lot of people have no problems with that.
As you saw, there are still things, I'm insecure and unsure about, but I'm positive, I'll find this stuff out somedays.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and have a great further day! See you soon!

12/29/2015

What I don't like about Japan

Hey, everybody!
A while ago, I made a post, where I talked about things, I love about Japan. So know, I'm just going to do the opposite thing and talk about my most unliked parts about this country. Japan isn't the perfect country, because no country is perfect (even Sweden isn't). Here are 10 reasons/ things, that I don't like about Japan.(Okay, I actually had to google what could be hatable about japan after two items or so)

  • Japenese english is difficult
This is probablys the most- known disadvantage about Japan or Asian countries in general. As the school system isn't the best (I'll come to that later) a lot of people are trying to learn english throughout memorizing it, what is in my opinion not the best way to study a spoken language. So, a lot of japanese people became english- haters and aren't able to speak this language at all (especally adults). Even the people, who can speak english roughly are often hard to understand because of their pronounciation. I think, this is a main problem about the school system.

  • the way, animals are treated
So, first of all, I want to point out, that I wasn't vegan when I came to Japan, but I was planning to. According to the variety of food, I wouldn't regard it to be too hard to eat vegan in Japan but I think there aren't going to be a lot of people, who understand you. I've never met a vegetarien in Japan. I once had a conversation with a member of my host family, who actually sayes something like: "It's necessary for us to eat whale flesh as it's necessary for you german people to eat pork". When I talked with a friend of mine, she actually claimed that "fishes are alive to become our food". I'm not kidding you, the most animals are regarded as food supplies and nothing else. This is shown throughout the TV shows as well. As there are a lot of cooking shows, the killing and preparing of the animals is shown as well. Two memories are burned into my mind undeletable: 1. There was a cooking show whether they catched an eel. They made three long cuts lengthways its body. Then they put it in the pan and cooked it. The eel winded and coiled and the TV people sayed something like "Oh, it hurts, doesn't it?" and lauged. 2. In another TV show they showed, how some obetous were made. They put a small octopus, who was still alive, on the salad. Then they cutted though the octopus' body a few times. The octopus winded and jerked and in my eyes, he screamed. 
But it isn't only "food animals", that are treated so horrifically. There are pet shops, where cats and dogs are kept in tiny glass boxes, where the visitors are knocking and peering the whole day. I'm not sure, whether it's the truth but I once heared, that animals, who aren't getting buyed for a long time, are getting gased.  I saw it in my host family as well. They had a cat and they sometimes punched it on the tail, when it should go away. They would sometimes chase it as well and they thought, that the cat would be having fun (I wasn't sure about this). So, as a result, the cat become aggressive sometimes and tried to bite me a few times and sometimes fleed when I approached. 
This is really fucked up. 

  • a huge throwaway culture
This is a food thing as well. When something is left over after eating, it's getting thrown away(unless it's a really huge piece). The people tend to buy a lot of stuff, not only food, but especally small cheap goods, that are really.. unnecessary. I didn't saw the throwing away of this kinds of goods too often, but especally the dealing with food wasn't so appreciatable for me.

  • restricting rules/ inflexibility
I mean, it isn't that I don't like rules and outlines and orientations guidlines. I think, some rules are crucial for a working social community and for any society. And of course, some rules should be unbreakable and breaking of them shouln'd occur too often. I agree with all of that. 
I often sympathised with the bunch of rules, that are existing in Japan, but what I missed about them was the considering of freedom and flexibility. I want rules but I want my freedom as well. I don'T want to be restricted in any action I do and any word I say. Japan doesn't necessarily have more laws, but there are definetely more social rules like how to behave, what to say etc. I think, some of this strict rules are the reasons for people not having their own opinion and just following the group. This was actually a point, I heard from other people a lot but didn't experience myself too much.
A thing, that I actually did experience was unflexibility. I remembered the preparation meeting in japan, where a daily plan was made with anything that is going to be done and where and when this is going to take place. We had a kind of group activity one evening and then there was the presentation of each group (or so). Then, all groups had finished presenting their stuff but according to the daily plan, we still had some minutes till the next activity. So instead of starting with the next one earlier, we got asked whether somebody wants to present anything else- just to bridge the time!

  • people not talking about their honest feelings 
Japanese people, I talked to, had mainly two feeling: they are fine or they are tired. When they were tired, it was obviously because of school or work. Japanese people are  really straightforward sometimes but I don't think that anybody only has this two kinds of feelings. When I'm close friends with someone, I want them to talk about their feelings- honestly. It's okay, when people are sometimes sad or angry or bored or something else than tired or amused! 
This is the restrctive rules' fault, I guess. It's regarded to be polite to don't talk about one's feelings. I don't care if my friends are polite towards me. They're my friends!

  • superficiality
This somehow accompanies with the above- mentioned point. When I talked with friends, it was really often about superficial things like favorite books or favorite color or the next school subject. I understand, that nobody would talk about their deepest feeling with a foreign stranger directly but after I've become really good friends with people, I want to overcome this shallow talking.

  • the school system 
As I've already mentioned above, I'm no great appreciater of the Japanese school system. It is based on teacher- centred- teaching and memorizing. Although I loved going to school and I liked a lot of subjects very much, it was obvious that this wasn't a system, throughout what very much students would actually and actively learn something. 
So, about 80 percent of the classes consisted of the teacher speaking and the students listening more or less actively. The teacher would write a lot at the board and a lot of students would sleep. At the end of the lessons, the students often take a picture of the blackboard and walk away. Sometimes, the teacher asks a few questions in class, that are mostly answered with "I don't understand". When students have questions, they use to ask them after the lesson (in case, they ask them). There is a test week about every two month. About a week before this, the students study day and night to make the test. After the test there is often a board, at which the most sucessful student's names and their reached scores are written. A lot of students are coming to class a hour before the actual lesson begins. At this time, they make their homework (in case, they make it). When students are studying, they would just do a bunch of test questions and correct them. For every subject, they need about two- three books. 
This way, very few students actually learn a teaching content, but they just memorize it for a short- term period. When I get worked up about my country's school sytem, I think about Japan and I'm usually happy after that.

  • the food system
This is a small one. My host family had almost inchangable eating times, inbetween which they ate almost nothing. As a polo- eater, it wasn't so easy to accept that.

  • this kind of family lifestyle
As my host family had no children, I didn't actually experience that but I think, I know enough about it to talk about this issue. The basic japanese family concept is rather traditional. The father works and the mother makes the houshold. No problem with that. But to my mind, the balance is missing. The most fathers go to work very early (because the work's office is in another town), even before their cildren are woken up. They come home really late, as they often go dining or doing another fun activity with their work members. A lot of father go drinking after work and therefore come home really late, when their wifes and children are sleeping already. What is left over are the weekend, the only time, when anybody has some free time, that isn't filled with school, work or club activity. 
Then there is this love thing. Holding hands is embarrassing. Kissing is embarrassing. Hugging each other is embarrassing. Especially, couples refuse to show their love throughout this ways openly. But also in privacy, I wouln't imagine japanese couples to be so close to each other. This may be just another way of expressing love, but I actually question, whether some of this highschool couples are having feelings for each other. Okay, it's anyway better than sending each other nude pictures an facebook.

  • boys group and girls group
Anybody can be friends with anybody, seriously. And if a person only befriends people of their own sex, I'm obviously okay with that. But in Japan, it's almost a social rule, that anybody is only friend of people of his own gender. But this group├╝ restiction is seriously anywhere: in school, in the train, in the school clubs, any community is divided into male and female persons. 
I think, this is neither supporting gender equality nor the equality of one's sexual orientation. I've never met a gay person there and nobody speaks about this kind of things as well.
Obviously

Okay, this may've seemed like I hate Japan, but I defenitely don't do. I love this country and while writing this post, I felt again, how much I'm missing my Japanese friends and (host)family. I definetely want to go there again.
Anyways, I hope, you enjoyed reading this and I'll see you soon. 


12/28/2015

berlin travel report #8

Hey, guys!
As I was to Berlin a while ago, I experienced a lot of interesting things, I want to tell you about.
This is the eightth part of my travel report.

So, I waited in front of the test room, chatting with some of the other people standing there.
The test consists of three section: vocablurary, grammar and listening, eache's lenght varied between 30 and 60 minutes. Between each part, we had a 40 minutes (!) break, in which we talked little about the last test section and drank and went to the toilet.

It was... kinda... So, it's really hard for me to describe generally, how well I did at a test and because theis test was so diffrent from the tests, I've ever taken, it was even harder. There were some very easy parts and some rather diffucult ones and some, I din't understand at all. The vocablurary part wasn't too difficult. The grammar part was weird because after it, everybody told me, that they took so much time with the first part, that they became very in hury with the seccond one but I was quite fine with the time, what makes me wondering whether I missed something. At the listening part, my concentration had reached it's lowest point and I couldn't think clearly. It went accordingly.
Generally, I think I was okay, but not necessarily good. After it, howevre I felt so relieved and happy. I strolled the last two hours through Berlin middle and didn't care about the money and was so happy. I'd really wished the test to take place at the first day of the weekend.
Then, the time came and I had to go back to the airport, what made me feel very sad, because I love this town so much. Now, this great experience was over already.
So, I flyed back, somehow I was nervous and felt weird but.. yeah.

<--previous part
That was it. That was my berlin travel report for this time.
See you soon xx

12/27/2015

travel2japan: #3 serious organization buisness

Hey guys!
So, I was to Japan as an exchange student. And wrote diary; approximately three pages every single day. As I think it may be interesting translating the thoughts of an exchange student in Japan, I'm no going to do this. 
Some backround information:
I was to Japan from March to July 2015(4 1/2 month). I lived in Chiba with a host family. 
I went there with the organization WYS (Word Youth Society).
Here we go.
(The text written in italics are comments, I added in retrospect)

#3 serious organization buisness
Real date: March 5th

What I hadn't realized yet was, that this were all queries by the host organization, that already accepted me. One day, however (I remember building a glassy room under water at the beach in minecraft) my mother came in and told me, that Mrs. B (my organization's staff) had called; I was accepted. I then stood up and somehow (to give the impression somehow) hugged her. She made an anxious face, like 'natural conditions can't keeo her from going away now'. Somehow, I wasn't extremely happy. (There was a question about whether the student has any scars, what I freaked almost out about, because I thought, my scars would be revealed. In the end, the doctor just asked, whether I have scars. Panicing for nothing.)
A few days later, a contract paper fluttered to our house, what all of us had to sign (if we're interested). That, obviously, caused an argrument again, because the contract wasn't good  enough for myfatehr (he wanted some kind of more formal paper) Eventually, we somehow managed to sign it all.
So, I partaked. A few days later, a huge bundle of paper was send to our home, documents to fill in in order to find a fitting host family, I think.
Some parts, however hadn't to do so very much with one's personality that... I don't know. There were, for instance, some medical papers, I went literally 10 times to the doctor for. I'm pretty sure, that only the vaccinations and the by the doctor subjective assessed state of health were actually important.
Furthermore, I had to bootlick a lot of teachers to make them rabbit a little about my studying personality at a paper and confirming my final grades.
And finally, I had to answer many many questions about myself, my hobbies, my wishes, my reasons to go to Japan,... One moment! Yes, I had already answered this questions before in the interview, whose answers were send to the host organization. But maybe two are better than one. I got asked some of this questions, especally my reasons for going to Japan and my state of health according to my hay fever, some times more.
I also had to add some photos and do other things, that I don't remember.
One month later, at the original date of levy of the folder, I had procrastinated sucessfully and we had to ask for more time. Then, however, we actually submitted the folder.
The next time, queries and telephone calls followed in a bunch. I somehow got the feeing, that I only prepared for the depature since my application's levy and that I'm not really living anymore. That subsided later a bit.
Then, a mail arrived, containing the information, that the host organization wants to condoct a skype interview with me. There it was. Fear in its superbest form.
In the interview, the questions, that I had answered about 1- 3 times already, were asked. I wondered, whether they actually started searching for a host family as late as in october. This short- term nature is annoying. In the interview, I got praised two(!) times for my englisch and my knowledge about Japan.
My shy (and almost not existent) Japanese got criticesed in an extremely polite way.
One day later, Mrs B called, forwarding the response, that my interview was 'very good' :)
A little while later, the preparation meeting followed, where, according to my organization's magazine, students would meet 'classified by countries'.
(blah blah something about the area)
'Classified by countries' meaned all counries (what I really appreciated, as I had already worried a lot about being the 'worst' Japan- exchange student in the middle of 'good' Japan- exchange students.

I hope, you liked this part

12/26/2015

About Sixx:A.M.

Hello everybody!
recently, I've been listening to a lot of music regulary. I mean, I obviously listen to music almost everyday but what I wanted to say, was that I listened to the music of only two music groups in the last time. The first one is the Rockband Sixx:A.M., consisting of three band members, founded by bass player Nikki Sixx. I came across this band the very first time wheLife Is Beautiful' by the band. This is their most popular song of all time (as far as I know) So, I downloaded the song and it became one of my most favorite songs of all time, the title, that is a lyric's line became part of my philosophy. I remember once listening to another song by Sixx:A.M. but didn't liking it. So, I regarded the band of one of those one- great- song. but- nothing- else- music groups. Then, a few years later (as I cleaned up my music gathering) I looked for the band's other songs and dowloaded a bunch of them (that I didn't listen to more often than one time). The songs were sleeping at my computer's harddrive for another year. Then, a few weeks ago, as I scrolled bored through my song list, I saw another song of them and listened. I refound the songs for me within minutes. They're all great.
n I saw a One Piece AMV (Anime Music Video) with the song '
So now, I'm listening to this songs about daily.
As I like rock music, I like the song's style. I can't tell, which specific rock genre the band could be matched with, because I'm according to music genres a noob. I would have assigned their songs to Soft Rock, wikipedia says Hard Rock but however. It sounds great, so I like it.
The point, that distinguishes this band from the other one, whose songs I like, too, is that the songs by Sixx:A.M. have a meaning, a point, a claim. I mean, any song has a message somehow but often the songs sound great, but the meaning isn't very intelligent (If that can be said this way). The songs of Sixx:A.M. actually do have a meaning, what could be affiliated with their partly not- so- great- past, especally the bassist's drug addiction story.  As I already mentioned, I like the (obvious) message of 'Life Is Beautiful'. Another song, I appreciate very much is 'Skin', talking about the diffrence of outward appearance and a person's real character. When I listened to this the first time, I actually cried. Another touching song is 'Accidents Can Happen', that encouraged me to don't regard one mistake as the end of the world. 'Girl With Golden Eyes' is a song especally dealing with the former drug addiction of bassist Nikki Sixx. Althoughmy experiences with drugs are like zero, I love the song.
As I'm far from an expert in rock music, I don't no anything to say about the music 'style' or the instrumental 'style'. I just like it.
This was my message for today, I'll see you tomorrow

12/25/2015

binge binge binge binge binge

First of: Currently, people from eight diffrent countries were reading a post of mine. How insane is that?? (Thank you very much)
So, as yesterday was christmas, I got some presents. I'm going to talk about the rest of the christmas day later, but for now, I want to focus on one certain present, that was given me.
I got the book BINGE by Tyler Oakley. At this time, I want to point out, that I'm not necessarily a huge Tyler Oakley fan. I mean, I'm watching and enjoying his videos and I appreciate his work but I'm not a crazy fangirl stalking him on any social media platform possible and writing long shipping- fanfiction. Okay, I tried to draw some fanarts several times and failed. I am
, however a keen viewer of his videos. So, I put his book on my wish list.
I left over the big rectengular presents, I suspicted to be (youtuber's) books to the end. After I have opened up all the other presents, I packed out the four oblong presents. I was honestly so excited opening this gifts; my heat beated fastly and my fingers trmble, a feeling that I would have when meeting this youtubers as well. Maybe I am a fangirl.
There was it, the hardcover from BINGE, the cover was somehow made a little sculptural, one can slide one's finger across the paper, feeling the title's letters. It looked great and I read in two stages.
I didn't really inform myself before putting his book on my wish list and I din't really know what the book is about. I knew that it's some kind of autobiography and deals with (spoiler alert) binging.
The book isn't chronological, but it basically consists of several chapters, each dealing with a certain topic and Tyler's thought and experiences about it. There were some pictures as well.
The book was really varied. There was a bunch of funny stories, I laugh about loudly. On the other hand, there were some sad storieds as well, next to thoughful parts. I liked all of them.
As I'm not the Tyler Oakley fan, I was surprised about his rather wild party and sex life, what I wouln't have expected (him to talk about). His shocking eating disorder story was a rather unknown story to me as well.
I really appreciated the honesty, the book is written with. Tyler doen't try to conceal something, but he talkes about it and about his opinion, even though it's sometimes a controversial topic. As his life described in the book was full of ups and downs, the book shows a very realistic attitude. I think, everybody has something, Tyler wrote. to identify with even if one isn't a Tyler Oakley fan.
I personally could identify myself with one of the last chapters, where Tyles talks about this life only consisting of work and one being unfulfilled, even though it's great life and his vague sucide thoughts and the feeling of not being understood by anybody. This was a chapter, I read very thoughtfully and carefully. I wondered whether Tyler was bullied in school as well, but I guess he's an exception from the majority of youtubers having a horrible school time.
The book, that was talking more and more about youtube towards the end, encouraged and motivated me. It especally motivated me keeping my 'online buisness', this blog. I was encouraged to put more efford in writing good posts because I want this to become bigger because I love blogging and I know, it's technically possible to let a blog become a job.
I know, for now, I'm far from being a good or professional blogger. But this book inspired me too much to not freak out about my own internet dream.
This was a long post and I hope, it was enjoyable though.
Love you all, see you tomorrow

12/24/2015

christmas stuff~

Hey guys!
Today is chrismas! Yeee~y. But however.
The day before yesterday was the last day of school in this year, what means, that I was to the school church and exchanged little presents with my friends. Everybody seemed to put a lot of effort in their presents and it was very funny. I love to see people packing out my presents and enjoying them (or at least pretending to enjoy them). The classes consisted of watching movies and singing christmas songs, what wasn't really worth going to school, but
whatsoever.
Then, yesterday, I worked s lot on school stuff and had a 'christmas party' with my friends in the evening. They're the people I'd consider to be my 'best friends' and we had a lot of fun. After we'd exchangeds great gifts and ate cookies, we watched funny videos together. We watched a hypnose- video, after what me and another friend couln't stop laughing for about 15 minutes. The other friend was quite annoyed. We did some weird 'psychotests' as well and joked with people on omledge. It was a funny time. Besides having fun, my friends and I had some interestingly serious conversations as well. We, for example dicussed the meaning of the song 'Don't Stay In School', which's great by the way.
I finally got the calendar, I selected,when I was to a Japanese shop with one friend a while ago. It's a small rilakkuma planner and the cutest in the world. Today, Istarted decorating and planning a little what was very funny. I feel somehow organized again.
I mean, I was very happy about the presents I got but I was thinking about this a lot. I don't think, it's quite responsible to wish for materialistic gifts everytime, that you are likely to hrow away soon. I actually don't obey the majority of presents, I got by my friends last year, anymore, what is slighly scaring. What would be constructive to my mind would be either giving consumable gifts like foods or hygiene supplies or buy something useful, that the person definitely wants to have. In this case, however, a detailed wish list would be necessary what may offend some people.
This is one of this problems, I still have to figure out.
I wish you, however a merry happy funny and thoughtful christmas and I'll see you soon

12/23/2015

berlin travel repot #7

Hey, everybody!
As I was to Berlin a while ago, I had some interesting experiences, I want to share with you. This is the seventh part of my travel report, further parts are following.

So, I used google maps to guide me to a vegan cafe, that wasn't too far away. I, however had a constant feeling of nervousness, because I feared coming too late to the test, even though I had still about  three hours, till it would be starting.
I waited in front of the cafe, what hadn't open yet. It aroused my sympathy immediatly as there were lots of stickers placed on the walls, claiming things like 'Nazis out' or 'Don't look away'. There was a LGBT flag sticker as well. There were s lot of people waiting in front of the cafe. I felt somehow preserved, as I was surrounded by people with the same thoughts about nutrition. On the other hand, I didn't talk to anybody and had the slight feeling, that I'm not going to make any friends here either.
The cafe opened.
First of all: The food was great. There was a vegan- vegetarian breakfast buffet, where anybody could eat for a self- chosen contribution. The vegan stuff was maybe one of the tastiest, I've ever eaten. There was vegan chocolate cream, noodle salad, fruits with yoghurt and the best- sweet semolina. It tasted very great and the rooms were nice, too.
So, I got myself a plate full of intresting stuff and sat anywhere. I felt akward sitting there alone, whereas everyone else came in groups. So, I was sitting at a long table, where other people were sitting at, too. After a while, a women there told me, that this table was booked by this group. There was a sign, that I overlooked. I stood up (I threw down my knife) and searched for another place, I could sit at. All tables turned out to be occupied already. Eventually, I sat down next to two girls, who I, however, didn't speak a lot to.
I couln't really  enjoy my meal, because I felt so alone and wished my friend to be here. I actually missed her, because I imagined it to be so funny with her.
Maybe because of this weird feelings or because I was worried for the test, I left soon and took the next train to Berlin middle.
The time had finally come. I had to take the test. There was again the feeling, that I was pushed in this situation to quickly although I needed some mental preparation time. I went to the university building and the accounted room, where a lot of people were already standing.

<--Previous part
Next part-->

12/22/2015

berlin travel repot #6

Hey guys!
As I was to Berlin a while ago, there are a lot of things, I experienced, I want to tell you about. This is the fifth part of mz travel report, further parts are following.

So then, finally, as my foot already hurt a lot, I decided to go back to my youth hostel. I saw some girls, who were really looking like prostitudes at L├╝tzenhofstra├če. But as there clothers weren't too saucy, I was a little confused. They had bottles with them, so maybe I saw alcoholics there.
I then, however went back to my youth hostel. As I was sitting in this 'community room' in the entry area and doing vocablurary, a boy sat next to me. Soon, he asked me, how old I am, whethr I have a boyfriend, whether I have facebook etc. It was obvious, that he wanted to flirt with me but it felt reallly akward because I think,  the imagination, that somebody thinks, I'm attractive, is weird and I didn't really liked him for flirting do obvious. I wouln't bet that my answers were so flirty, I rather tried to stifle him friendly, what eventually worked out and he went away. It felt strange though.

The next day
So, as I'd planned this day way better than the saturday, I knew where to go and what to do. I stood up and accomplished my morning routine as far as possible. I then went to breakfast and ate a lot. i really ate a bunch of food, vegan, obviously and it was very tasty. Meanwhile, I was answering messages and watching videos on my phone. I think, I looked like this smartphone- obsessed, unconcious teenager with no friends. Then I walked out and along the nearest streets. Almost nobody was out there, what was a great experience. I made some (to my mind) really great photos on the street and I saw some prostitudes dressing in a street corner. This city is somewhat ragged. I was to the underground station Kurf├╝rstenstra├če as well, what was interesting.
Then, I took the next bus to the 'political part' of Berlin (how I call it) and it was really great there, because the dun was just rising and I saw very few people out there. I strolled along the streets and visided the holocaust memorial and the homosexuals memorial, both interesting and sad. I was to this long street with lots of other country's estates as well.
Then, I walked along the riverside of the Spree, the near river. I originally planned to jog there, but my stomach was hurting when I walked to fast so I just went along 'normally'. From there, I walked to the university, the test was going to take place at. There I met a man, who's planning to take the test as well. He asked me whether this is the right building. I somehow felt a little realxed, knowing that today was definetly the test's date. I walked along there a while and then decided to eat lunch/ seccond breakfast in a vegan cafe.

<--Previous part
Next part -->

~LAN party experience

So, this weekend, I was to m yscout's organization's LAN party. Generally, it can be described as a very interesting experience. I came a little later together woth a friend of mine. Both of us were more or less computer game noobs, wheras the other boys (and one girl) were playing quite good (as far as I can judge.) I, however went there with some pleasant anticipation, bacause I like computer games (at least, some of them) and I knew, that this would be a time, where I have fun withourt worrying about studying too much.
After I've put up my computer, it took some time to copy the games. This time, I talked with the other girl, who was to Japan as well, what was very interesting.
We played Battlefield. This is a game, where basically two teams of soldiers are fighting against each other, trying to take over a place and kill as many hostile soldiers as possible. It was really fun at the beginning, bacause we were working together in teams and it didn't matter too much, that I wasn't good. (I was somehow regarded as the she- knows- at- least- a- little- how- to- play- girl) After a while, we played on a map, where I somehow got killed anytime, I tried to leave my own team's area, what wasn't very motivating and made me feel bored quickliy. I don't want to talk to much about the certain games, we play, a lot of them was very fun. There were some significant moments.
As I wasn't good at playing, I always felt very happy, when I made something right or got praised by a team member. On the other hand, it wasn't really often the case, that I did well. There was a boy sitting next to me, who sometimes explained me things, but in a somehow how- stupid- are- you- this- is- obvious- way, what didn't made me feel very well.
I think, the main problem, I had with this people there was, that even though everybody was nice and stuff, everybody only cared about themselves. When I had a problem, I often fixed it myself. Sometimes, I got help by the people sitting next to me, but when they didn't know, how to help, they just said: 'Oh' and turned back to their games. I'd have wished for more, but I'm often expecting too much.
After a while, the other noob- girl left, because a lot of games weren't working at her computer. Now, I was the noobiest person in the room.
After a while, that I played Sims (I played it because, there was no game, I could participate at and I wanted to play something. It was actually really fun.), I wanted to play something with the other people (everybody with playing in groups of 3 to 6 people) and tried to install games. Either I didn't really manage to install the games or when I finally made them playable, everybody was already playing another game.
So, I switched between playing Battlefield, Minecraft and Sims, what bored me. There was a time, I perceived as very peaceful and happy, when the other girl was watching Fear The Walking Dead and I was playing Sims and we were chattting and talking a little. Because she didn't play 'proper' games as well, I didn't feel so alone.
Then, we ordered pizza. As far as I heard of this, I was extremely frightened. I somehow 'trained' at home to speak out 'I am a vegan' or 'I don't eat animal products' loudly, but I still was extremely scared for my vegan- outing. I think, my crippled mind exaggerated this feeling a little, as I started sweating and trembling. As often, it turned out to be diffrent. We wrote our order on a paper and passed it. There wasn't even a comment on my order. Freakin' out for nothing.
Cheeseless pizza was, actually, very tasty.
So, after a while (it was 'bout two in the morning), the other girl left to sleep. As the place around me got emptier, I felt more alone. I, however, didn't feel tired at all and kept switching games and trying to install other games.
I don't really know, how time passed. I recognized once playing battlefield and getting asked by the boy next to me, with whom I'm playing. When I sayed 'nobody', he moaned annoyed. At four a clock in the morning, me alarm rang, but I could turn it of really silently. At this time, a lot of people were leaving to sleep and we were only about six people.
We played a derby game, what took me a little time to understand .But after that, it was very funny to play,although my fingers were hurting after it. I went out and took a stroll, what was a great experience. There were extremely few cars out there and I could walk in the middle of the road. The fresh air was great. The room, we played in, did become very stiftling and sweaty.
So, the morning was a little funnier again.
All the time I listened to songs from the bands The Pretty Reckless and SIXX:A.M. I discovered these bands earlier before, but I somehow newfound their songs. Both of their songs were really great to hear. Especally the songs of SIXX:A.M. were really touching, because theiy dealt with really serious and real issues. I liked especally the song 'Skin'
I, however, went very early. At about 10 o'clock, where I was just vegetating and doing nothing. This time, I felt somehow very bad, because the day was so unsatisfying and I had again the fealing, that I'll never be able to find real friends, who I accept and who accept me.
It was, however, an interesting day.
See you then

12/19/2015

I ate cheese

Hey, guys!
So yestday, I was to scouts group and it was somewhat a diffrent ecperience than it used to be the weeks before. We decided to cook something and changed the ideas several times, until we got to pizza. As I already outed myself as a vegetarian (yes, not as a vegan yet) there was extra vegetarian pizza made for me. It was kinda cute but also kinda annoying, that the people there treated my like someone with a special allergy, who's gonna die if he eats meat or so. They asked me a lot times, whether I like corn pizza and whether this's ok and that's ok and I like this or that or how much I like. I mean, I didn't told'em that I was a freaky weird vegan yet. They only thought of me as a vegetarian ans I cannot believe, that they regarded this to me 'special'. In our society, I thought, having eating habits that don't include eating meat, would be normally accepted. Apparantly, I was wrong. So, this was a think, that made me worry once more, when I'm going to tell them about being vegan. As we are going to make a LAN party this weekend, where we will (of course) eat things that may contain other animal products, I want to tell them than. But it's complicated.
We however, made pizza. This day, I somehow decided that it'll be more fun, when I don't go with my "friend" (who's a bitch) but just be honest and talk with the nerdy boys about things. So we started chatting and i didn't responded to my "friend" all the time, because I didn't try to be cool. It was really fun. After we had a long and interesting dicussions about politics and the current crisis, we talked about a topic, I'm very experienced at: youtube. And they're just the same nerds as I am. It was fun.
Then we finally ate pizza and I furtively put away as much cheese as possible. The pizza tasted really good, but I couln't avoid eating at least some cheese, that sticked to the dough. This cheese tasted extremly greasy and fatty and it made me feel greazy and fatty as well. I mean, one could say, that I'm imagining and exaggerating things but I swear that I had a cheese taste in my mouth the whole evening, what made me feel very uncomfortable and ugly. I rinsed my mouth several times, but it didn't really work out that well.
What I'm trying to say is, that my body is so used to a plant- based nutrition, that even this small amount of milk product feels uncomfortable to me. I really don't know.
It was, however, a funny evening and I look forward to the weekend.
See you then.

12/16/2015

berlin travel report #5

Hey guys!
So as I was to Berlin a while age, there are a lot of things, I experienced and I now want to tell you about. This is the fifth part of my travel report, further parts are following.

So, after I left the restaurant, I took the next bus to Paris place.  Thid place was probably the place filled with the most tourists, especally at the Brandenburg gate. So, I just strolled around and
lookedat this ancient, auperb buildings with a history longer than my life. After than, I walked along the riverside, where a lot of buildings are standing as well. This houses, on the other hand, are looking so modern and luxurious. It was a great view.
At it was already getting slightly dark, I decided to drive back to the youth hostel, at least to check in my room. But before, I made a little sidetrip to the big Unter den Linden street, that was still full of people. I (obviously) had a look at the university again. Then, I went back to my youth hostel.
It wasn't so great there. As soon as I was in, I wanted to go out again immediatelyI sorted my stuff, made my bed and charged my phone (while watching low- quality Dan and Phil videos) but I somehow started to feel extremely claustrophobic and somehow alone as well. I don't know, whether this was the awareness, that my first day in the great city Berlin is already ended and I'm going to have this test tomorrow or maybe just a feeling of sadness for the day, that didn't really work out as I'd expected it to and wasn't like the last time. This is something,I thought about a lot and it drove me crazy. The last time when I went to Berlin (just for fun), I had the feeling that everything was so beautiful and I was the happiest person on earth. At least that's how I remember this trip. This time, however was full of not so great things as well.

So after almost freaking out, I went out as fast as I could and just started walking. Not with any special purpose or aim, just for the sake of walking. I strolled along the long Potsdamer street, that was lined by shopping malls and full with people strolling around. It was a very peaceful walk and I didn't want it to end.

Next part (following)-->
<--Previous part


Looks so great

12/13/2015

berlin travel report #4

Hey guys! 
As I was to Berlin, the German capital city, last weekend, there're a lot of happenings, I want to tell you about. This is the forth part of my travel report, further parts are following. 

So, there I was. At this bus station and I walked in the direction of the university. I was so excited, both in negative and positive ways. After I strolled along the interesting book- flea market at the university's fence, I went in. After one entered the premisis, there is a beautiful green area with some statues and kickstands. Than this great, wooden door. I went in and again, I was someway happy but felt, that I'm not right belonging here (yet) as well. I always wondered, whether it's illegal to enter a university building in spite of not being a university student. But I think, it's okay. It was really silent in there and I had a look at the various magazines, that provided information about the university. I took some with me as well. The seccond floor's walls were lined by pictures of scientifical important persons (primarily men). After strolling around this, I went out. Being in the university was again an undescribable experience. I gained will to enter this very university, but I gained anxiety as well.
Another thing, I had to realize, that even if I'll enter this university and study there, not everything is going to be perfect. I just had some weird thoughts in there.
I then, however, decided to try out a vegan restaurant for lunch/ dinner. I drove with the bus to a restaurant called 'soy', that provides vegan- vegetarian meals in form of vietnamese dinners. It was a little weird to sit there alone, but I read in Christiane F while eating (what may've looked really weird, but.. ) The food was very hot at the beginning and as it cosistet of a small bottle of rice and a pot with vegetables and souce, it reminded me a little of Japanese plates. Actually, it was very delicious. It was very chilly, but somehow, I everytime thought that it'd be very late already (It was about 3 pm) and became very anxious about it. I don't really understand why I paniced about this. Even if it would hve been late, it wouldn't matter that much.
I, however, finished  my meal and went off. I wanted to go to the 'political' part of Berlin, so I took the next part to Berlin Paris place, the location of the Brandenburg gate as well as the Reichstag and other countrie's estates.

<-- previous part
next part -->

BTW: I postet my very fist entry on this blog yesterday a year ago. A blog review is coming soon :)

12/12/2015

berlin travel report #3

Hey guys!
As I was to Berlin last weekend, there're a lot of things, I experienced, I want to tell you about. Here is the third part of my travel report, further parts are following. 

So, I went to station zoo. It was a really important thing for me to do, because I really feel like I ought to experienced the setting of Christiane F. breathe the atmosphere, live the book. Ok, I don't mean it literal. I didn't do drugs or so but I went to station zoo, the place, what the german original book is called after. It's one of the four main settings in the story. Obviously, the ststion isn't like back then. It isn't full of H addicts and outside are no dealers. It basically just looks like a regular train station with some more homeless people (who I wouldn't necessarily suspict to be drug addicts). But as I saw the scenes in the movie and imagined them in the book, it's wasn't hard to conceive this scenes.
It was quite important for me.
I then, however dwadled along the Kurf├╝rsten street, the long shopping promenade, but as I'm not so very attracted by shopping, I didn't spend so much time doing it.
Well, I didn't plan to spend so much time. So after I was in this luxury/ ghetto part of the town, I wanted to go back to Berlin middle to visit some places there. As it later turned out, there are busses driving between the two sistricts. I just somehow didn't manage to find'em. I seriously spend over an searching for the right bus station, going around in a circuit, panicing about the time and still didn't finding anything. It was kinda horrific. As I then just embarked on a bus, than drove roughly in the right direction, I missed the last station and went off at the parking place for busses, where the bus driver explained to me (not very friendly) that passengers aren't supposed to go off the bus here. As if I wouln't know that.
At this time I felt extremely shitty. I didn't come one meter nearer to my aim place, I felt like I'm stuck in this area forever and I just wanted to go out of there desperately. Almost crying I packed out my map again, trying to fix out a way, I can walk. I was at station zoo again.
As I walked by, all of a sudden I saw a bus, standing there, just ready to leave. It was driving the Alexander place, what is a place in the middle of Berlin. Relieved, I ran to the bus, got in and flopped myself at a seat. I finally found the way. Full of bliss, I droved to the place, I wanted to.
I planned to go out at Alecander place, where I wanted to start visiting the places.
Then all of sudden, I saw a the shop, from which I knew, it was right next to the university. This university, I'm going to take the test. This university, I love and praise and want to study at.
I seriously started producing cold sweat and trembling. I was so exited and got off the very next station.

<-- previous part
next part (coming soon) -->

12/11/2015

berin travel report #2

Hey guys !
So, as I was to Berlin last weekend, I experienced quite a lo tof things, I want to tell you about. This is the seccond part of my travel report, further parts are following.

After I've checked in( my luggage somehow had to be double- controlled, but it was ok) , I could finaly go into the flight waiting area where I strolled through the shops. Airport shops have this kind of interesting mixture of product, I' ve never seen before at any other places. I, however, didn't buy anything. While waiting, I read a bit in my book ('Christiane F.') and used the airport- WLAN for contacting my family. Finally, my flight was called and I could enter the plane.
Fortunately, the sun was rising during the flight, what makes the pictures, I took out of the window, very beautiful.
I arrived. It was as I would be flashbacking this year's beginning journey to Berlin, because (obviously) the airport and it's surroundings looked exactly as I remembered it. But as I was a little more experienced this time, I kinda knew where to go to find the next bus station.
I bought a one- day- ticket (so convenient!) and got into a bus, that would drive to Berlin middle (Alexanderplatz). But during the bus drive, I looked out of the window and suddenly made out the Berlin Hard Rock Cafe. I left the next station but had somehow problems, to find the cafe. My sense of direction. So, I strolled through the area, where I saw the KaDeWe, this enourmous luxury mall. I went in but it's products obviously consistet of for me unaffordable consumption goods, that aren't necessarily needed. It was, however, interestiong.
After I've went around in a circuit several times, I finally found the HardRock Cafe, but after entering I slightly disappointed. I'm not a music genre expert, but to my mind the music there was far from hard rock. Fascinationg was the decoration and the bag search. I had a look at the merch shoop, but I was eventually too stingy to buy a T- Shirt.
After that, I somehow walked around diractionless, what drove my mind crazy. SO I decided to make a plan, what I'll do. First of all, I went to my youth hostel to check in, what eventually turned out to be a mistake, as I could refer my room not after 2 pm. (it was by 11 am this time).
Then I went to the infamous station zoo,


<--Previous part
Next part (coming soon) -->

12/09/2015

But you can't save the whole world!

Today, I wanted to discuss another agument commonly mentioned against veganism. When I say that I am vegan to put a bit more justice in this world, some people are like:
  • It's good what you do, really! But you can't save the whole world!
So, uhm, this is kinda true. I am a little, unimortant, irrelavant human being, that isn't going to change anything on an earth with other 8 billion human beings. This is a fact.
As I'm only a single indiviual it isn't very likely that I'm going to abolish animal slaughter nor will I stop all animal suffer. But I know, that I make a diffrence in the world. No big diffrence, nothing world changing but an existing diffrence. 
World is not going to change but maybe, in 20 or 30 years there will be this one slaugtherhouse or this one farm, that goes bankrupt and has to close. Or maybe there will be this one person giving up his batcher job. For this animals, that are not consumed by me, I matter and I make a diffrence. This diffrence is this animals life. 
I don't know, whether our world  can be changed but I want to do some good and make the other individual's life a little less horrible. 
This is also the reason, why I'm blogging about my veganism. Maybe there will be this one person, that decides to go vegetarian or even vegan somedays. Maybe there will be this one individual, that decides to eat just a little less animal prouducts. 
I think that people, who have the opportunities and chances should do their best to help making the world a better place. I am having a real high life standard and a lot of opportunities, so I want to make a diffrence. Even if it's just a little.

12/08/2015

berlin travel report #1

Hey guys!
So as I was to Berlin last weekend, I experienced quite a lot of things, I want to tell you about.
So , this is the first part of my 'travel report', the next parts are following.

The time, I stood up, would be usually regarded to be quite early but it wasn't that uncommon fo rmy standarts. After I've packed the very last stuff, I drove to the station with my mother. Originally, she wanted to bring me as far as possible (to the airport), because she's worrying about my security a lot, but eventually she just drove me to the station and waited with me at the gate, till my train came.
I took a book with me, I already had started when I drove to Berlin. It's the book: 'Christiane F: Autobiography of a Girl of the Streets and Heroin Addict', what is one of my favorite book. I don't want to talk too long about this (bacause I'm planning on making an extra post about it), but I can say; It's a great book, I love it, the reading experience is amazing and as it tooks (most of the time) place in Berlin, I took it with me to read it in 'the right mood'.
In the train, however I was extremely (negative) excited and nervous and could hardly concentrate. This was beacause of the test. As I traveled to Berlin in order to take the JLPT Japanese test, I could barely think of something else but the test. I would've appreciate the test to be on Saturday. Then, I would have a nervous Saturday morning (that I'd spend anyway half of the time in a plane) but a relaxed Saturday night and Sunday. The test was, however, on Sunday, what made me extremely nervous.
So, I sat in the train, trying to concentrate on this book and staring out of the window. Then, I finally arrived.
Oh, I really like airports. As I love travelling, stations and airports trigger this kind of 'travel mood' in me, what's a reallly great feeling.
The following events, on the other hand, didn't help much to push that good feeling. First of all, I somehow didn't find my luggage inspection gate directly, so I asked a airport's guys, who explained it to me. It was just right next to me, what I felt very stupid about.
I then, however, went in but at the luggage inspection, I realized, that I still had a bottle full of water in my backpack. As I wanted to keep the bottle, I went out to throw the water in the toilet. When I got out of the luggage inspection area, I wanted to take the entry, I went in through, but the guy sitting there said 'stop' in a kind of agressive way. I had to take another exit. So, I evecuated my bottle and wanted to come back, but obviously, I already checked my ticket, what was why I couldn't enter 'normally' anymore.
The guy sitting there: You can't go through this.
Me: Yes I already went in once before...
Him: Now it's the seccond time, so the computer won't let you in.
Me: Yes I know and...
Him: So you won't come in through this gate.
Me: Ok. (...)
        And how can I come in now?
Him: How you got out.
So, I had to got my ticket checked diffrently and felt stupid again.

Next part  -->

12/07/2015

struggle: ~rose vs black~

There is this question, that bothers me quite a long time now. I often wonder, who I am and what me "real" or "best- fitting" personality is. As my outward apperance is a kind of part of my character, I consider styles and fashion as well. So there are two styles, I really like and want to wear:

  1. Pastel Decora
  2. Rock Chic
This styles are like the complete opposite.
Pastel Decora is about wearing, light colers, cute motives, a lot of adorable chains. It consists mostly of skirts and shirts or pullovers, mixed with a variety of cute accessories. The color most wearn is pink or purple. The hair is often dyed or half- dyed in light colors and a little make up is used (Okay, the gitl in the picture has kinda chains on her facial skin, but I mean the use of mascare, lipstick etc. is rare) . Basically, Decora is about being cute and adorable (The Japenese idea of cuteness, being kawaii)

Rock Chic, on the other hand, consists of wearing mostly black, grey and sometimes dark brown or blue clothes, who are often ripped or denim. It is a mixture of the typical, slightly scruffy rock style and a bit glamour, expressed throughout silver colored chains, a little bit glitter and shinyness. What is weared often are hotpants with tights or leggins, coats or waistcoats and hats. The accessories are black and brown bracklets and rings, sometimes neclaces.
When you have a look st this styles, it's not hard to see that they're exetremely diffrent.

As I want to adopt one of this styles, I start by buying anything I really need in the style's performance (Adorable/ pink or rocky/ black). The problem is that, as I can't decide which style I like better, I don't know, at which style I should start the takeover with . Currently, I focus on cute things and my pink- stuff suppy is increasing. But still, I wonder whether it wouldn't be better to start buying black and silver stuff.
For now, I want to try out going in the Pastel Decora direction. I intend to start give Rock Chic a burl after I've finished school.
Bye then.

12/03/2015

travel2japan: #2 Organization stuff

Hey guys!
So, I was to Japan as an exchange student. And wrote diary; approximately three pages every single day. As I think it may be interesting translating the thoughts of an exchange student in Japan, I'm no going to do this. 
Some backround information:
I was to Japan from March to July 2015(4 1/2 month). I lived in Chiba with a host family. 
I went there with the organization WYS (Word Youth Society).
Here we go.
(The text written in italics are comments, I added in retrospect)


#2 Organization stuff
Real date: March 4th

Then I discussed the whole thing with my parents, who both disaprproved the idea of me spending one year in Japan. I kept reducing my demands and thinking of new plans. So, from september to the year's end we discussed a lot and didn't come to a real conclusion, until I took matters into my own hand. One evening, I just asked my mother and send a short application to DFSR and a e- mail with a question about their exchange program to iSt. I guess, this was basically the time, I signed on a Japanese course as well. (I can't tell you how much I worried about this language but we'll come to this later)
So, I had send a more or less instructive application to DFSR.
This was followed by some calls by Mrs. B, the employee responible for exchanges to Japan, what should somehow be a pre- application. Eventually, I arranged an interview date with a returnee, what I worried pretty much about (thanks to my great black dog).
So, one saturday's afternoon Mr. L came to our house (what was polished by me) and talked with me about my environment, family, friends, interests and reasons for a student exchange. Questions about Japan weren't asked, what really surprised me, as I tried to memorize the wikipedia article about Japan.
I had a pretty good feeling about this interview and the confortably relaxing feeling, that I achieved "something big". (this time, I didn't yet know, how much "big things" I still had to do).
I waited for an answer extremely excited. Instead, queries came. Queries, mainly about my hay fever. I probably said "I have only a little hay fever in spring and I don't take or need any medicine" often enough for my whole life.


I hope, you liked this part.
<-- previous part (#1 How everything started) 
next part (#3 serious organization buisness) -->

12/02/2015

lookin' forward to Berlin

Hey guys!
I fucking excited and nearly crying. As some of you may know,  the 6th of december this year ist this years seccond JLPT date. I studied hard the last moth and now I want to achieve this test. I registered to this test about four moth ago and I registered for the test in Berlin.
This town. If you read through my old blog post you will find quite a lot posts about my experience in Berlin when I was ther about 11 moth ago. I wasn't there on occasion but just for fun and this intention was fulfilled completely. This two days are burned in my mind so firmly, I can remember everything, that I did in detail... it's wonderful.
Even though this time's experience is kinda tarnished by my fear about the upcoming Japanese test (That I actually feel prepared for, but.. I'm frightened), I look so much to seeing my beatiful city again. I don't know, what is so fulfilling about this travel to Berlin. Maybe it's the freedom and independence I have there what makes it a holy place to me. There are so much things, I love, that I can discover only in Berlin. Furthermore it's kinda the orgin of German veganism, what's an attractive asset as well.
This city is simply undescribable beautful and my heart starts beating so hard when I think about discoving this city's treasures again in a few days.
I'm looking forwar and I'll definitely post detailed travel reports. Look forward to it!
See you then

12/01/2015

Being introverted

Hey, guys!
I'm an introvert. Bye.
Just kidding.
So being introverted mustn't be confused with being shy. A shy person may be silent and quiet sometimes, but he/ she knows, when he/ she has to unwind. A introverted person, however will not just be open and cheey sponaniously.
Some people may not believe, that I'm introvertive as I often write, that I'm a very cheery and laughy person. This characteristics are shown when I'm among friends or people I know closely and like very much. But when I'm among peole I don't know that well, I use to be very quiet and say nothing. I often prefer listening to somebody else's interesting story than telling about myself. So, there are sometimes people wondering, whether I'm not fine.
Furthermore, I don't make friends that fastly extroverts do. So, when I'm pushed in a new situatiion, where I 'require' friends, I will somehow manage to talk to some people. But when it's not necessarily important, I will just sit there ans listen or do something on my own.
Being alone is another aspect of being introvertive. I like to be alone and I'm often alone, what somehow gives me power for situaton, where I'm not alone. This doen't mean, that I don't like humans, I just prefer rare contact. This, however, can be a positive point as well. I often do activities alone ans enjoy them and I often get asked, whether it isn't boring to have fun alone.
For me, being alone means being free and I didn't find the human, who doesn't annoy me after some time yet. When I do something with other people together, I'm restricted and limited automatically, what can be very annoying. I really like my friends, but I could barely spend more than a few days with them completely without becoming very bugged.
I don't know, whether it's a part of being introverted, but I think and dream a lot. Then, I'm staring in the air ,with my eyes glazed over, and I'm in a completely diffrent world questioning and imaging weird things.
Being among people is like spending energy and this energy will 'recharge' when I'm alone. So, I don't want to wast this energy wastefully but spend it with people, I like.
That's just my feelings
Bye for now :)