So, this weekend, I was to m yscout's organization's LAN party. Generally, it can be described as a very interesting experience. I came a little later together woth a friend of mine. Both of us were more or less computer game noobs, wheras the other boys (and one girl) were playing quite good (as far as I can judge.) I, however went there with some pleasant anticipation, bacause I like computer games (at least, some of them) and I knew, that this would be a time, where I have fun withourt worrying about studying too much.
After I've put up my computer, it took some time to copy the games. This time, I talked with the other girl, who was to Japan as well, what was very interesting.
We played Battlefield. This is a game, where basically two teams of soldiers are fighting against each other, trying to take over a place and kill as many hostile soldiers as possible. It was really fun at the beginning, bacause we were working together in teams and it didn't matter too much, that I wasn't good. (I was somehow regarded as the she- knows- at- least- a- little- how- to- play- girl) After a while, we played on a map, where I somehow got killed anytime, I tried to leave my own team's area, what wasn't very motivating and made me feel bored quickliy. I don't want to talk to much about the certain games, we play, a lot of them was very fun. There were some significant moments.
As I wasn't good at playing, I always felt very happy, when I made something right or got praised by a team member. On the other hand, it wasn't really often the case, that I did well. There was a boy sitting next to me, who sometimes explained me things, but in a somehow how- stupid- are- you- this- is- obvious- way, what didn't made me feel very well.
I think, the main problem, I had with this people there was, that even though everybody was nice and stuff, everybody only cared about themselves. When I had a problem, I often fixed it myself. Sometimes, I got help by the people sitting next to me, but when they didn't know, how to help, they just said: 'Oh' and turned back to their games. I'd have wished for more, but I'm often expecting too much.
After a while, the other noob- girl left, because a lot of games weren't working at her computer. Now, I was the noobiest person in the room.
After a while, that I played Sims (I played it because, there was no game, I could participate at and I wanted to play something. It was actually really fun.), I wanted to play something with the other people (everybody with playing in groups of 3 to 6 people) and tried to install games. Either I didn't really manage to install the games or when I finally made them playable, everybody was already playing another game.
So, I switched between playing Battlefield, Minecraft and Sims, what bored me. There was a time, I perceived as very peaceful and happy, when the other girl was watching Fear The Walking Dead and I was playing Sims and we were chattting and talking a little. Because she didn't play 'proper' games as well, I didn't feel so alone.
Then, we ordered pizza. As far as I heard of this, I was extremely frightened. I somehow 'trained' at home to speak out 'I am a vegan' or 'I don't eat animal products' loudly, but I still was extremely scared for my vegan- outing. I think, my crippled mind exaggerated this feeling a little, as I started sweating and trembling. As often, it turned out to be diffrent. We wrote our order on a paper and passed it. There wasn't even a comment on my order. Freakin' out for nothing.
Cheeseless pizza was, actually, very tasty.
So, after a while (it was 'bout two in the morning), the other girl left to sleep. As the place around me got emptier, I felt more alone. I, however, didn't feel tired at all and kept switching games and trying to install other games.
I don't really know, how time passed. I recognized once playing battlefield and getting asked by the boy next to me, with whom I'm playing. When I sayed 'nobody', he moaned annoyed. At four a clock in the morning, me alarm rang, but I could turn it of really silently. At this time, a lot of people were leaving to sleep and we were only about six people.
We played a derby game, what took me a little time to understand .But after that, it was very funny to play,although my fingers were hurting after it. I went out and took a stroll, what was a great experience. There were extremely few cars out there and I could walk in the middle of the road. The fresh air was great. The room, we played in, did become very stiftling and sweaty.
So, the morning was a little funnier again.
All the time I listened to songs from the bands The Pretty Reckless and SIXX:A.M. I discovered these bands earlier before, but I somehow newfound their songs. Both of their songs were really great to hear. Especally the songs of SIXX:A.M. were really touching, because theiy dealt with really serious and real issues. I liked especally the song 'Skin'
I, however, went very early. At about 10 o'clock, where I was just vegetating and doing nothing. This time, I felt somehow very bad, because the day was so unsatisfying and I had again the fealing, that I'll never be able to find real friends, who I accept and who accept me.
It was, however, an interesting day.
See you then