1/09/2016

a party invitation

So, I got a party invitation. It was not direcetly adressed to me but to my whole grade, what means, that I am involved. So, basically, the grade's stundent leadership planned to make a party in our school's party room. They are, obviously, not allowed to bring alcohol, but it was said, that people could pre- drink. Now, they are trying to find enough people, who are interested to convince the school administration that this party is worth making.
When I read this, I was first like "Nope." but then I started to think about why I have succh a negative attitude towads parties, despite the fact, that I have not been to a actually "real" party in my life. I figured out, that there are a couple of reasons, why I refuse.
The first, an to me most important reason is, that there are going to be lots and lots of people. People, I don't really know, people, I do not know what they're thinking about me or people, from whose I know that they do not like me for whatever reason. I mean, I try to stop caring about other person's opinion, especally if I don't like this persons either, but I cannot stop imagine them talking and mocking about me. So, on this kind of party, where lots of this people will be, I could never be freely myself, as I would somehow try to do something between fitting in, being inconspicous and actually having fun. If it would be party, where only people, I like or people, I appreciate, would appear, it would be diffrent probably.
This leads me to the nest reason: I can't dance, I mean, technically, everybody can dance, but I'm no good dancer at least. I actually do not really know, what this kind of dancing in a club or at a party is about. Me trying to dance would not look very appropriate, I guess. So, as I cannot spend the evening rocking the dance floor, I would not have very much to do, except from consuming the provided foods or drinks or talking to my friends, what is not the actual intention of a party.
So, I think, I could not really enjoy the party.
Another important point is the music, that is going to be played at this kind of party. I bet, it is going to be this stereotypical dico- techno- music or juat the normal pop songs. This is not necessarily music, I don't like but I just do not appreciate it so much, that I could listen to it all night at this extreme volume.
Another think, I do not like about parties is that getting- ready- stuff. Besides the fact, that I don't think that my wadrobe contains any clothes that would be sppropriate at a party to wear, I am definitely not willing to invest hours of getting dressed and making my hair and Make- up just for one single night, where I am not very likely to meet a special person or somebody, I haven't met before.
So, I think, this are basically the reasons, I refused to attend this party. maybe I'm not ready yet, maybe I'm just not the party- person. But I'm okay with that.
I hope to see you soon!

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